When I traveled to the city of Jaipur, which is a lovely town known for its astrology, palm readers and gem stones, I couldn’t wait to have their guru assess my sign and read my future. I know I can get a little voodoo at times, after all I did fully participate in a grand sextile party just a few months ago, but this I could justify as immersing myself into part of the Indian culture, specifically in Jaipur.
Cowboyfirstname.lastname@example.org, which is the only information I have on my astrological guru so I’ll refer to him as such, held my left palm close while he told me a simple tale of my past present and future. Accurately telling me enough specifics of my past that I would believe the things thereafter, he explained to me the fortunes of my future: good health with a heart or blood disease that won’t kill me, married in two years (ha.), two kids, great financial wealth around 32 years old, a very long life, the 4th strong love being the one and living abroad for a few years. Funny right? His explanation of my planets was quite interesting as well. Apparently, the intensity of my venus is calling for a major need to tame my fire. Put simply: I’m aggressive and to keep love around I need to lift up my saturn.
It’s just a silly palm reader, right? Well, yes. But I followed him with two more palm readings from two different men and they all said the exact same thing. Three palm readings might have been a tad excessive, but a second and third opinion never hurts…right?
So, I did what my Jaipur palm reader said would help me balance out my fire and help to keep love close: I bought his beautiful sapphire ring and followed his voodoo instructions that had to be completed prior to wearing the ring or the sapphire could lose its energy over me: dip in hot milk 7 times (ew) , dip in water 7 times (at least it got the milk off my ring), wrap in a black cloth (who the hell has a black cloth while they’re traveling? I wrapped the ring in black panties instead. I call that resourceful) leave it in sunlight for 7 days (my other option was to leave it in a church. Enough said) and on the sabbath I had to chant a sanksrit mantra 11 times in the morning (Yes I did it aloud and yes I might have lost count).
And then I could wear the ring.
If you think I’m crazy yet, that’s fine because somewhere in between the milk dipping, the hiding a ring in my underwear and the chanting to the sapphire I’ll agree with you. But it was the possibility of it all that had me enchanted. The affirmation that someone saw all the success of my future, the great love, the good health and how badly I wanted to believe them led me down the guru’s path.
And then I woke up the morning after my first night home (mind you post India and post a little time spent with a man who had a special place in my heart) and the ring broke. The big gem was missing from the middle. I just laughed…How fitting.
Once I finished laughing (but crying inside) and after I found the stone deep in the sheets of my bed, I took the ring off, set it aside next to its sapphire stone, and decided there isn’t a piece of jewelry in the world or the most amazing astrological guru on the planet that can make me believe in my own possibility. That has to come from within. Whether it’s a best friend that sees our beauty, a lover that sees our soul, or parents that see our potential, there’s something so beautiful in hearing externally what we know we have the possibility to create. It’s as if we let others help us paint our dream with the colors we had inside of us the entire time. But we’re the ones who ultimately have to decide what and how to paint. We’re the ones who have to create the great possibility for ourselves. If it’s keeping love close, living abroad, having a beautiful family and having a great career, the only one who can affirm, believe, and create that is you. Is me.