Sometimes we all get in a little over our head. We want to accomplish everything all at once. We want to see everyone in our life happy. We love being the one to help. But sometimes in all of those “Yes’s”, we lose ourselves and our own progress. I had to back out of something just this weekend, and I was reflecting on why the heck I said yes to begin with…
So many things lead us to agree to something when we had no capacity, energy or ability to actually see it through. Sometimes a yes is necessary, but so many times it is completely void of respecting our own needs. If you’re ever saying YES for the following reasons, you need to quickly flip a switch in that beautiful brain of yours and communicate a NO instead….
You’re scared of a toughie
Most people aren’t huge fans of confrontation (even though I’m sure we all know someone in our life who feeds off of it). Having to have a tough conversation is a surefire way for anxiety and fear. But not following that fear can produce so many worse ramifications both for ourselves and for the other person. If you’re saying yes because you’re avoiding what’s really on your mind and because you’re too scared to speak your truth, you’ll pay the cost on the other side. So get comfortable with your own needs and have the conversation. You’ll feel so much better once it’s over.
You’re feeling guilty
Guilty. I’m sooooo guilty of saying yes because I felt guilty. It’s actually exactly the reason I said yes to something I shouldn’t have, and then had to back out of. This is never an emotional place to make a sound decision out of. Trust me, I know. It means you’re doing things for the wrong reasons, which will lead to even more wrong decisions. So buck up and drop the guilt (not to self).
Their happiness is more valued than your own
You must show up for yourself. Love can make us do some crazy things, but we need to value our own happiness and well-being more than we do the momentary pain of letting someone down by saying no. When we can be really rooted in our own needs, we’ll find a soft way to say no that makes us feel better (and probably them too) in the end.
Maybe you said YES for one of these reasons lately? Not to fear, there’s a way to learn your lesson, and still back out with grace. I detailed some of tips on doing this today in The College Prepster.