Sprinting after what you want can feel so damn good. Like real “I’ve freaking got this. Totally mine. This is so freaking what I want” good. It’s the kind of good that makes you feel on top of the world and on top of your shit.
You’ve got things you want. And damn if anything is going to keep you from going after them.
So you’re sprinting. Pretty hard. Pretty fast. Pretty focused. You don’t necessarily see what it is that you want in arms reach, yet, but you trust that this run will take you there. That the harder you run, the closer you’ll get. That the more energy you put in, the less of this run there will be.
And then the path, while closer to where you were than when you first started, will start to feel different. The warm sunshine that you felt at the beginning of that path starts to set. It is starting to get dark. And you’re getting a little worried.
Worried because you can’t totally see the path anymore.
Questioning if this was a good idea to begin with.
Wide-eyed with holy hell what am I doing.
Concerned what rickety bridges you’ll have to cross, what muddy puddles you’ll have to jump over, what weather might be ahead, and what’s going to happen with everything you left behind.
Sprinting after what you want suddenly has turned into a mad chase after uncertainty. They’re one in the same.
They are so, beautifully, one in the same. Which would have been nice to know when I set out on the path of following a vision I had so clearly seen. I wish I could go back to the me that showed up for the first time in a country where she didn’t know a soul and didn’t have a place to live and tell her not to freak out – that she’d find the perfect place. She’d find all the support she needed to be creative, to deal with her heartbreak, to keep pushing forward. She’d launch her business and she’d figure it out, the operations, the money honey, the time, the craft. She’d put herself and her self care in the back seat because it was easier than chasing uncertainty, but she’d find her way back in a big way. She’d put herself out there, fall hard, sob it out. But be fine. And she’d take the biggest life leap to date, cry a lot, screw up, feel the physical pain of her anxious brain. And still it would all be OK. Be better. Wonderfully, joyfully, expressively, better.
Big leaps, life shifts, crazy changes, radical ideas – they require you to get down with your uncertain self. They require you to walk across the tightrope blindfolded. They require you to tune in, way in, with what your gut says, what makes your heart beat and what fills that soul with crazy magic.
The decision to keep chasing uncertainty anyways is a hard one. A bold one. And one that ultimately is always worth it, because it means you’re moving. It means you’re acting. It means you’re not reverting, going backwards, or staying the same.
Over time, your eyes will start to adjust. Your adrenaline calms down. You start to trust yourself, your instincts, and your perspective. Uncertainty stops being such an intense and almighty trigger.
Plus, you know that going back is always an option, but it’s not one that will have the outcome of expanding your soul. Stopping is an option too, and when you’re ready, when you’re supported, when you catch your breath, you can always pick it back up again.
Uncertainty will always be there. And the fear will always creep in to tell you to stop. To turn around. To slow down. To roll over. But you have to keep going. When you do you’ll feel the power of the earth rise to help you run alongside fear, and run anyways. You’ll feel the universe show up for you when you need it most, because going after uncertainty was the way you showed up for yourself.
Chasing uncertainty is living life fully expressed. Fully free. Totally scared. Yet so beautifully okay.
Following the heart means chasing uncertainty. You won’t know how it’ll turn out, but you’ll always be glad you tried.
Inspiration Session #1 – Chasing Uncertainty (to Bali)Sometimes, you get unstuck when you’re a little sweaty, bare faced with a wheezy cold. #InspirationSession Number 1 – My real life “Chasing Uncertainty” transition (http://bit.ly/1PHwSG2)