You’ve been there. You’ve totally been there.
At the place where you kept it all together. Held strong through the final words. Cracked a smile. Took one step through the door. And crumbled.
You’ve been on the joyride turned sob ride when one perfectly written lyric at the perfect tone strikes a chord with the depth of your soul.
At the walk home. After that date. That all was fine and dandy. But something about being vulnerable. About wanting to be liked. It led to tears. Outta no where tears.
In the meeting. In the middle of the meeting. When you passionately try to explain your side, the reason for your fire, the fire that ends in tears. You didn’t want to. You didn’t plan to. But alas, you’re here.
You’re here in the sudden, thundering pressure that hits your face, the top of the cheeks. The restriction in your throat. The center of your chest. The heat that is only quelled by the release of a cry.
You’re crying. And sweet heavens you don’t totally know why.
Standing in the bread aisle with strangers who are merely trying to decide between white or wheat while you stare at your toes, sobbing. Pissed you’re upset. Judging the emotion. What. What are you crying about?
It’s not so much about what. But maybe more about why. Even so, the why doesn’t really matter. The reason, the rationale, behind your tears may not even exist in a way that will consciously make sense to you right now.
But what does exist is the emotion. And the urge to release.
Your tears. They mean you’re open. They mean you’re there. That you’re feeling not denying. That you are aware.
Your tears are a road sign that will lead you home. Home to asking. Home to unsurfacing.
They’ll tell you to look this way. To keep exploring. To be curious. And to look at the situation for more than it’s worth.
Was it less about the breakup and more about the self worth?
Was it less about the anger of a shitty situation and more about the fear of leaving?
Was it less about weirdness and more about loneliness?
Was it lack of trust that at first glance seemed like just frustration?
It’s never really about the surface, your tears. They never are. They’re a big blinking sign that says “Go deeper. Go farther. Stay curious. Keep asking. I’ll lead you home.”
Home to the realness of your soul. Home to what is really going on. Home to your shit. Home to the whole deal. Home to the clarity that will lead you on. The clarity of your power. The way around your obstacles.
The tears will make sense. Eventually. And when they do it means you went far enough. Deep enough. And got to the good stuff. The real stuff. Home. Home sweet home in your soul stuff.