We all have our shit. Every single one of us. We’ve been hurt in a way that’s hard to forget. We’ve got scars. Some hidden. Some painfully obvious. Some healing. Some still anything but. Some have been done to us. Some we’ve done to ourselves.

Getting by in this life unscathed is nearly impossible. Fearing pain and fearing hurt is practically a waste of time because it’s exactly what will happen, at some point. But yet we still fear it. And that fear is oh so normal.

I’ve had plenty of hurt in my life that I’ve completely seen coming. I’ve had pain that I couldn’t have foreseen in a million years. There’s been heartbreak that floored me. People who made me question my own worth. Critics who hurt my feelings. Friends who have betrayed trust. Strangers who crossed boundaries. Opportunities lost. Humans passed. There have been times where I’ve been the one inflicting the hurt. There have been times I didn’t even know how hard I was clinging onto the pain until years later.

Life can be a bitch. It can hurt hard. Hurt long. And hurt deep. Some people’s hurt seems simple compared to yours. Some people’s pain seems insurmountable compared to yours. A qualification isn’t relevant, really. What matters, all that matters, is how you deal with it. How you react to the painful events in your life. How you move forward. How you handle. How you overcome.

There’s not a damn thing you can control. Not one. But most of your suffering comes from believing you can. 

You can hold onto your pain and suffer hard. You can use it as an excuse to wall up. Armor up. “Protect” yourself from anything causing you pain. And not fully live.

You can blame yourself. And create stories and reasons and beliefs of why you deserved that hurt. What you did wrong. Why you weren’t enough. Why you asked for it.

Or. You can choose to heal.

In your own time and in your own way. And then you can take that pain you felt and turn it into a powerful driving force for living big. And bold. And creating impact. Conjuring up magic. Being fierce. And making your big beautiful mark in this world with the power you found from breaking down and putting it all back together.

Your pain can get you there, if you choose to transform it into fuel instead of letting it shut down the engine that is your heart. Let it propel you to greatness. Planes only get off the ground by pushing hard into the wind. 

I’m not here to tell you how beautiful your pain is because there’s a lesson in there somewhere. That’s crap. Because lesson or not it still hurts like hell.

What is beautiful is your capacity to find a lesson through pain. That you have the choice and the ability to take what life has handed you, learn from it, and turn it to real, soul-grounded power.

If you’re wondering how to find it. Where to begin. How you go about taking a tiny step forward in becoming an alchemist. One who transforms your own hella hurting into nuggets of gold. Begin here:

Ask yourself: What people (or events) have caused me the most hurt?

Then answer: 

1. What positive qualities did I exhibit while going through that pain?
2. Looking back, what did that pain have to teach me about myself or the world?
3. How can I use this positive insight in future situations?

“Suddenly you’re ripped into being alive. And life is pain, and life is suffering, and life is horror, but my god you’re alive and it’s spectacular.” – Joseph Campbell