Tuesday was just another Tuesday. Until this…
- I woke up and found out I didn’t make the next round of a big award nomination. Bummed. But not for the reasons you’d think.
- I told the people who had reminders in their calendar and voted + shared on my behalf every day for a month. A MONTH. Embarrassed. Even though I knew they did it happily. (There’s the real reason. Did I let them down?)
- Received messages of support and encouragement that filled me with so much joy. Gratitude.
- More love was called in. I am so so loved. And that makes me weep.
Four times. I cried four times in one day. Not because I was tired. Or emotional. Or stressed (all of the reason I’m normally brought to tears in a consecutive manner). I cried because life was happening and I was feeling it.
Emotion is like a compass. It tells us what’s going on. It shows us where we’re being pushed. It asks us to reflect. And it moves on as quickly as it came—provided we don’t add gasoline to the fire of our emotion by letting our thoughts go cray cray.
My cry-four-times-in-one-day could have gone so differently. I could have said I didn’t care that I missed the top 6 for my Shorty Award. But that would have been denial. I could have not told anyone and ignored. I could make up reasons why they were wrong for not picking me to try and make myself right.
But if I had done, that I would have robbed myself of the most beautiful moment of my week: the words of love, encouragement, and support from the people I cherish the most. Even just thinking about it now makes my eyes mist.
That emotion you’re feeling is pure strength. It’s your compass. It’s your hell I’m alive and woman meter. And emotion in the form of tears will send you onto a path toward honoring the hurt and learning to heal. Honoring the rage and learning to leave. Honoring the gut and learning to act. Honoring the heart and learning to accept.
So often when we feel weird emotions…sad emotions…”bad” emotions…emotional emotions…we look for the first plane ride out of discomfort. Whether that’s a glass of wine or a self help video, we feel we “shouldn’t” be feeling this way, whatever it is we’re feeling. But your life depends on the beauty of both. They both exist in any given moment to give you a full picture of this journey. They exist to make you human. Stripping yourself of that paradox strips you of being fully alive.
Now, I’m not saying you need to have swinging emotion all the time. That shit wouldn’t be good for anyone. But when things are going on in your life, instead of avoiding it, choose to connect and deeply feel what is happening around you.
To the homeless man rewriting his cardboard sign. To the disappointment from an opportunity lost. To missing a man you were supposed to be over years ago. To the feeling that something is off.
Don’t shut it down.
Get out of your head, which will try and logic you out of your emotion. You’ll judge yourself. You’ll make light. You’ll make excuses. Give yourself permission to feel. Sit in the valley for a bit and quit trying to always stay at the peaks, the highs.
Your humans are here to remind you of your humanness. Of the beauty. Of the lesson. Don’t hold it in if you don’t want to. Talk about it so much more so you can receive the support you need to redirect it to strength. Your words will help you understand your feels. And you’ll have the humans there to lift you.
Whatever you do, know your emotion is your strength. Your guide post. Your answer. Feel all sides of it it any chance you get.