Maxie McCoy

You’re not lost. Important Reminders for Finding Your Way

You’ve yet to figure it out. Sometimes, you’re not even sure which way is up. It’s always a few steps forward and a couple steps back these days. And shit, are these steps even the right ones? How are you supposed to know? Are you just twisting in circles? Or worse, are you going back toward where you started?

The pressure to figure it out is massive. On any given day you’re wondering who you’re supposed to be. Which job is the right one. If you’ve made the right decisions. If this person you love is worth the long haul. If you should be doing more. If you should have it all together at this age.

What am I even doing with my life. If you’ve thought it. Muttered it. Or spent hours in bed crushed by it. Listen up.

You, my sweet soul of a human, are not lost. You never have been. You’re simply expecting answers no one can give you. You’re placing emphasis on certainty that cannot ever be certain. You’re demanding to know how the movie ends while still demanding a say in how that story gets told.

It’s not all your fault though. Businesses have been built on making you think any of this is in your control. They have been creating those insecurities for you so you buy, invest, and overcompensate with a product that’ll help you get there. You have access like never before to the highlights of people’s lives without having any clue about what’s going on underneath the surface. There’s a beautifully tragic triage of factors that have permeated this feeling of lost into the psyche of so many of you.

But you’re not lost. You’re simply finding your way. With every step, a little bit more of the journey unfolds. Emphasis on the step though. You must keep moving and doing and creating and failing and rejoicing and loving. You must must must stay in a place of action. It’s the only thing that will provide clarity. You’ve got to really, truly engage with your life in order to get anywhere. When you get a tingle. Do something. When you hear a call. Answer it. When you get asked to contribute. Say yes. When you get a bit excited. Jump. When he asks you out. Go. Get out of that damn head of yours and get into your life. Wondering about it won’t do shit. Wandering around will. There are only so many spots on a wall you can hit until you meet the doorway that opens up to what’s next.

When you hit all the roadblocks, be gentle. And be loving. To you and to everyone around you. Listen, you’re going to do things you regret. You’re going to make choices that flunked. You’re going to hurt people. You’re going to disappoint yourself. There will be tears. And therapy. And wine. And journaling. And sabbaticals. And days your heart breaks inside of your chest because you’re so confused about why or what you’re doing. That’s called breaking open. Breaking open to let your gorgeous energy out and attract the magic you deserve. Heartbreak merely creates space for the flare to go up—telling the right person or opportunity that you’re here. Opening up to the possibility. And not letting your fears or worthiness hold you back. Everyone’s scared and everyone’s wondering, but the pain leads to joy and the thought of joy is what pulls you out of pain.

That paradox is important. That you don’t try to live in one or the other: the light or the dark. Knowing they coexist in life and you’re moving your way through them will bring you clarity. You’ll be more gentle. You’ll exist in love instead of always fighting your way to the next. When you’re in a funk, you’ll sit in your shit. When you’re confused, you’ll revel in confusion while you need to until you’re ready to do something about it. When you’re sad, you’ll be sad instead of lying about your feelings. But through it all and no matter where you are, the love will keep you sane. The love for yourself. And the connection to the love around you.

You’re not lost. Revel in uncertainty and quit trying to control. Choose action over thought. And love yourself to the light.

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