There’s much to love about the men in our lives. From the fathers who raised us, brothers who protected us, and beefcakes who pleasured us, men are great complements.
And then we have our women. As ladies in the US, we’re spending more time single than any generation before, with a quarter of Millennials who may never put a ring on it. With all the time not depending on a partner, our coming of age and building our lives happens with someone else all together: our women. They’re the best friends, work wives, and sister circles who characterize the foundation of our life as marriage and families are delayed.
Having the right circle of women around you is a game-changer. Staying sane, taking leaps, falling in love, and growing up are easier with those primary relationships and community around you.
I’ve long been obsessed with my women. Oh, the things they’ve done for me. The things we’ve done for each other. She’s called me immediately after watching my snap story just so we can laugh until we’re in tears over my outrageous family. She’s shoved me across the bar and directly into him because there’s a first time for everything. She’s advocated for me behind the scenes so that I’m the person speaking at that event. She’s called me on my shit, telling me that there’s not another day that’s worth wasting all banged up this. She’s squealed and demanded every detail of a weekend with a new crush. We’ve hugged and cried when loved ones were lost. We’ve stared at stars while fighting over monopoly cards in a tents under the milky way. She’s hugged me from behind when my dress split at a Super Bowl party. She’s always there. The many shes. The gang of goddesses. The circle of support.
If you find yourself raising a hand and flipping your hair every time Single Ladies comes on at the bar (and even if you don’t), make sure you have these five women in your treasure chest of humans:
1. The one who’s no bullshit
She’s the woman who will serve you up a strong cocktail of truth. When you have her around you stop playing the victim and start taking ownership over your relationships, your situation, your job, or lack thereof. She’s someone who will tell it to you straight when what you’d rather do is curl up in your bed and forget. There’s no drama with her, ever. Her no-frills friendship will make you stand taller and take life head on.
2. The one who hustles
With the life you’re leading, that career probably takes up more emotional capacity than you’d like to admit. Not to mention, time. It’s high on the priority list. You need the gal pal who’s always down to show up at a happy hour and not know a soul. She’ll grab business cards and intro over LinkedIn all day, every day. And she’ll use those connections to connect you. Her motto is “a rising tide lifts all ships in the harbor.” You want to be a ship in hers. She’s the type of triumphant contemporary who will inspire you to hustle harder and remind you that you’ve got what it takes.
3. The FUN one
When all your married friends are waking up at 7 a.m. on a Saturday morning to tend to their wide-eyed kids, you need the fun one to read your text about the guy you just made out with on a blow up mattress. You need the one living vicariously through your adventures. She’ll respond with lines of emoji celebrations. And she most definitely won’t judge when finding out he was 6 years younger than you. This is the same friend who will blow all of her airline points to hop on a last-minute flight to Hawaii. And she’ll remind you to live a little, which is exactly what you need when the independent life gets a little too serious.
4. The ones that feel like blood. And are.
Sisters. They’re your lifeline, and you’ve got to have them if you expect to make it through the rough and rumbles of this crazy life. Related or not, your sister has you. She’ll tell you which type of sheets to order and let you use her prime account to ship them. She’ll hold you when you had that third terrible date in two weeks and encourages you not to give up on men. She’ll talk you through that tough conversation with your boss. And when you find the 9-step Facebook message she wrote to you a decade ago detailing tips for seeing that much older man, you’ll both laugh until you cry. She’s your ride or die woman.
5. Your biggest fan
This woman is your believer, a mirror there to reflect back how much of a badass you are. No matter what goal you’ve got, what change you’re itching to make, or what dream you’ve got in store, she believes you’ll get there. This is the woman that knows your strengths better than you do, and she’s always more excited for your success than you allow yourself to be. In the middle of the marathon of life when all the cheer squads are gone, she’s there yelling your name with sparkle-colored signs every step of the way.
Your women are your everything. And more than ever they’re the people you’re building life alongside. Make sure you have the right ones around you.