Everything that feels outrageous becomes courageous with time. Some of the most outrageous whispers I’ve followed. Some I’ve ignored….
Once I wanted to shave my head. Full shave. Rock on bald. Nahhhhh. Probs not my best look.
I dreamt of just telling him about my insane crush even though I was pretty sure it wasn’t returned. Checkkkkkkkk. Check. Off the list. Onto the next.
Then there was that time I wanted to get all pixie with my curls. One Google search nixed that.
Once I wanted to leave the country. For a while. Pack it. Leave it. Do it. Done and done. Life was never the same.
And while I was over there I wanted a tattoo. For a hot second. My mother would kill me and I don’t actually really like anything enough to live with it. Moving on.
That time I thought it’d be a good idea to get on a flight with no luggage because I had zero time to stop at home. Go straight for the airport or bust. Figured it out.
And when I wanted to travel solo through India while all of the media was in a frenzy about its danger for women. No one thought it was a good idea. Most amazing trip of my life to date.
Almost rapped on stage in front of hundreds. And a live stream. Because shit I needed their attention.
Showed up unannounced on his doorstep in another country so I could get to the bottom of it. Did it. Got my answer. Hearts break so they can heal back together stronger.
Purged quite literally everything I owned. Insane. And freeing.
Said I love you first for the first time. Sigh.
Lived out of a suitcase for 16 months. And forwent a permanent address the entire time cuz it felt right. Amazingly ridiculous and wonderful. Still not sure how I managed it.
Cold called the highest ranked woman at ESPN back in the broadcasting days. She answered. Landed my first mentor.
Showed up in a foreign country that I’ve never been to in order to live there. With no where to stay and without knowing a SINGLE soul. Solitude heals. And opens us to new people, friends, opportunities.
All of it has defined the last decade of my life. Courageous. Outrageous. Probably both. Or some mixture of it all.
Everything I’ve ever done that seemed simply ridiculous. All of the things that made me want to vomit. Everything I second-guessed even though I knew it FELT right. They’re events in my life that showed me my strength. And they shifted what I knew I could handle, decide, and create.
They seemed outrageous to people. Some didn’t believe I would do it. Some didn’t know why I would. Others judged and talked and questioned, sometimes to my face and sometimes just in their vibe.
But living outrageously is living courageously. A different way of life is a bold one. If that difference is what is completely true for you, then it is completely right, too.
I don’t care if it’s because of who you want to love. Or how you want to love them.
I don’t care if it’s a commitment to speaking your mind at all times.
I don’t care if it’s because you want to go on a date with every person in your city or if you don’t want to date at all.
Whether you want to vote for someone everyone hates.
Or if you never want to step foot stateside again.
If you want to live out of a backpack, a tent, or an apartment that takes more of your money than you’d like to admit.
If you want to have no career or all you want is one.
Whatever feels right to you. Whatever decisions resonate with your soul and turn that fire on within you….you must follow.
Big lives are rarely normal. Normal begets normal. Unless normal is your thing, in which case rock on.
The beauty of being courageous and outrageous is that it means you’re fully doing YOU. Saying what you want. Living how you want. Loving how you want. Traveling how you want.
I don’t care what your parents think. Or your friends. Or your colleague. Or that blogger. Or your partner. Or even your kids. I don’t care what they think. I care what you dream of and what you wonder about when the lights are off and you’re lost in the what ifs.
Try following them. Maybe you don’t shave your head, but maybe you do quit your job. Maybe you don’t tattoo your arm, but maybe you do finally tell that person you’re head over heels. Maybe you don’t make out with him on the spot, but maybe you do stop censoring what you say to just be how you wanna be.
You’ll love your outrageous side, whatever that looks like. You’ll feel a little out of the box, but you’ll also cultivate the parts of you that are totally memorable. And in the end, living that fully aligned life won’t seem outrageous at all. It’ll be courageous. And you’ll be so damn proud of yourself.