Who said life always needs to feel good? Yet that is exactly what we expect most of the time. And when we expect only the good feels, we hold no space for the bad ones and do ANYTHING possible to shut them out. Hard.
Because if we feel scared, or anxious, or worried, or depressed, or guilty, or confused, or lost, or unsure…that means we’re doing something wrong, right?
No. Feeling all the crap simply means we’re feeling. And it most likely means we’re human. And that we’re showing up for this life.
My year didn’t start out on cloud nine. It got there, but it sure didn’t start there. Walking into this year, I felt worried. I had trepidation for some things on the horizon. I was scared about some changes. I was doubty of my abilities. I felt guilt over something that wasn’t mine to feel guilty about. I cried plenty of times. I woke myself up with anxiousness. I wondered if I was a disappointment.
And I followed as much of my own advice to wade through the murky waters: working out, connecting with loved ones, one foot in front of the other, whole foods, sunshine, writing, and gratitude.
But one quote kept coming back to me more than others: “Feeling great and being great are not one in the same” she wrote.
Ahhhh yes, ahh yes, ah yes. I know this to be true. You don’t have to feel great to be great I repeated over and over and over again.
What you feel is not who you are, Max. I’m not a coward because I feel fear. I’m not a wimp because I feel anxious. I’m not a horrible human because I feel guilt. I’m not lazy because I feel tired. I can be great and do great shit, without feeling all that greatness all of the time.
It’s both paradoxical and true. Because we are not our feelings. We experience our feelings. But any of those downers are neither our identity, nor our future, nor any reflection of our abilities in this world. We have to allow ourselves to sit in the shit. And sit in it without judgement, of ourselves, of our feelings, and of our mistakes.
When you can do that, sit in it and even roll around in it some, you’ll realize that you are everything magical and loving in this world. You are great. You’re doing great things. Don’t let any of your own thoughts and feelings convince you otherwise.