I don’t know about you but, I go to people whom I love and respect for advice on everything. Evvvverything. Having their brilliance and wisdom in my life makes me feel infinitely more supported (and not to mention smarter and more capable). Most of the answers to my biggest troubles, next steps, and decisions of any kind are just one phone call away.
I’ve had a number of big decisions in the past few months that have frustrated, excited, and scared me. What to do? Call my mom. Is this the book cover? Show my girls. Will I be able to swing this? Text the besties. Sometimes, they tell me what I already know. Sometimes, they tell me things that don’t sit right in my gut. Sometimes, I end up back at square one. And sometimes, I skip forward on these metaphorical stepping stones completely.
The thing is, advice is great. It can be majorly helpful. It can help you see something that maybe you didn’t previously. And you can gain insights that you wouldn’t have otherwise gotten.
But when you’re facing a big decision — and you’ve got expert opinions, and parents’ advice, best friends’ input, and a mentor’s wisdom — you must remember that at the end of the day you’re the only one accountable for that decision. Not the person you paid to give their opinion, not the friend you talked it through with, and not the forums your scoured on the internet. It’s just you…fully responsible for the decisions that you made.
Right, duh, got it. I’d probably say this to me right now if I could, too. But what most of us don’t realize about our decisions is that we actually have so much of the insight and answers sitting within us.
And that’s important. Because when you’re the only one fully responsible for a decision that’s been made…a decision that you’ve made…you want to be damn sure you followed your own intuition, not the advice of others. They’re not you. They’ve never been you. And they only have a fraction of the input and experiences to know what this decision will actually feel like as you. For you.
Which is why, the best advice is the kind that turns on the lights of your own understanding — showing you where your answers were hidden all along. This is your decision. And your outcome. Only yours. Remember that before you follow anyone’s advice other than your own.