Sometimes life feels heavy. The world feels heavy. We feel stuck. And lost. And unsure. Sometimes it’s not dark but it’s just not bright. And sometimes what should excite us, doesn’t. And what doesn’t excite us, disappoints us. Around we go in our own day of a downer.
When I get like this (ahem, yesterday), I’m always in a habit of trying to reason my way out of whatever it is that I’m feeling. I try and tell myself the things that I think these thoughts want to hear. I use my love for words, my love of conversation, to try and tell my way out of my own problem. Out of my own mental state. It went a little something like this…
Down feels: I have zero motivation. I don’t want to do anything I’m supposed to do today. I don’t want to go. What’s my issue?
So I tell myself: Girl, you’ve got so many wonderful things to be working on! These people you see, love you and you love them! You’re just having a weird day, show up any ways. Connection will pull you away from the crap.
Really lovely pep talk I gave myself there. And I wouldn’t do it any differently. But often what’s even more useful to do before we TELL ourselves to feel differently (or we TELL someone we love to feel differently), is to stay there. To sit there. To hug and most importantly, to ASK. We don’t always need to jump into what to do and how to feel differently. Sometimes the best solution isn’t a solution at all – it’s a reflection. It’s a investigation into what’s actually going on.
The questions I could have asked myself for this weird, funky down feeling could have been:
Question 1: Why am I feeling this way?
Question 2: Is it true?
Question 3: Will my future self be a better person by following through on what these down thoughts are telling me to do?
So before you go telling yourself to feel differently than how you feel. Try asking yourself why. Be curious with yourself, with your feelings, with what actions might actually help. You might surprise yourself. And just remember, feeling down is OK, too. It means the UP is coming.