Using our voice is core to understanding our power. It’s integral in anchoring where we deserve to be. It helps us advocate for our own needs and the needs of those we love. Using our voice, communicating our stories, sharing our experiences, is one of the great tools we have in propelling our ascent.
But we’ve got to shut the fuck up every once in a while. We have to stop being so concerned about proving what we know and what we’ve been through and why we’re right, and instead absorb. Instead, ask. Instead, look for what’s not being said.
When you’re so busy talking, and making points, and showing your opinions, you miss so much of the picture. You miss what’s in their eyes. You miss the chance to ask really powerful and pointed questions. You miss steering the ship with thoughtful inquiries. You can drive the direction of any meeting, of any conversation, of any connection, more with questions than with comments.
If you can shut up, you’ll get to breathe.
If you can shut up, you’ll get to listen.
If you can shut up, you’ll get to observe what’s happening.
If you can shut up, you’ll feel your answers, the data, and the knowing.
It’s hard to do all of these things when the broadcasting, your broadcasting, is endless.
And as someone who’s a talker, I can tell you I’m in progress with this lesson. I likely will be for all my coming days. But I’ve found that facilitating other people’s stories, other people’s genius, other people’s thoughts – it allows me to learn quicker. It allows me to steer. It allows me to connect. It allows me to help them find their own answers. It allows me to remind them how seen they really are.
The last is the most important to me, because isn’t that what we’re all searching for? And to give someone the gift of feeling seen, you’ve got to learn to shut up first.