Maxie McCoy

How doing less might help you feel MORE…joy, connection, fulfillment.

What would you do with a more spacious day? What if instead of five minutes of downtime littered throughout your day, you had more. So much more. You didn’t wake up and jump right into work. You didn’t finish that work and get right to errands. You weren’t constantly behind. Constantly “swimming” just to stay above water. Constantly so full of…everything but.

The wild thing about the seasons of our life when our days are jam packed – going, going, going, going – is that we feel so little of them. We’re apparently doing “everything” but we actually feel so little….other than stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, and forever behind. If our days are so packed, shouldn’t they feel fruitful? Shouldn’t we feel productive? Shouldn’t we feel proud of what all we’re doing and accomplishing and getting done? You’d think so based on how intensely we’re conditioned to believe that achievement is the pathway to a living heaven. Why then, does it feel anything but?

I’ve just exited a season of my life that was busier than it’s ever been. The last two years were…chaos. More flights than I could have imagined. More miles traveled. More events executed. Then, a completely unimaginable 10 months of full time, remote job intensity…as in, even before the pandemic I was on more video calls than any one human should have to endure. Plus, a new relationship. Plus, a separate business & a budding one. Plus, a team of 10. Oh, and loved ones going through hard shit. 

What would you do with a more spacious day? What if instead of five minutes of downtime littered throughout your day, you had more. So much more. You didn’t wake up and jump right into work. You didn’t finish that work and get right into errands. You weren’t constantly behind. Constantly “swimming” just to stay above water. Constantly so full… of everything but.

The wild thing about the seasons of our life when our days are jam packed – going, going, going, going – is that we hardly feel any of it. We’re apparently doing “everything” but we actually feel so little….other than stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, and forever behind. If our days are so packed, shouldn’t they feel fruitful? Shouldn’t we feel productive? Shouldn’t we feel proud of what all we’re doing and accomplishing and getting done? You’d think so based on how intensely we’re conditioned to believe that achievement is the pathway to a living heaven. Why then, does it feel anything but?

I’ve just exited a season of my life that was busier than it’s ever been. The last two years were…chaos. More flights than I could have imagined. More miles traveled. More events executed. Then, a completely unimaginable pace of 10 months of full time, remote job intensity…as in, even before the pandemic I was on more video calls than I ever knew could exist. Plus, a new relationship. Plus, a separate business & a budding one. Plus, a team of 10. Oh, and loved ones going through hard shit. 

Looking back, the days I was the busiest at work were the days I felt the least. I felt like a shitty friend not calling my besties back. I felt like a crappy daughter not spending very much time at home. I felt like a terrible leader unable to solve problems. I felt like a selfish person unable to give my time & knowledge to my community of women. And I sure as hell didn’t feel creative and free…two of the qualities I value in my days. 

My experience is not unique. You’ve had it. You might be having it right now: Seemingly zero free time. And then a whole lot of crappy feelings that grow out of that reality like weeds. 

As I’ve reflected on a new windfall of time, and how much I’m able to feel, I started to wonder maybe doing more causes us to feel less? Because here in my wild plains of open time, here with little motivation to “go make shit happen”, here with a deep longing to sit, to listen, to absorb, and maybe sometime later, to create…I feel a lot better than even my most filled days. 

What’s fascinating, which I just learned from an episode of The Happiness Lab Podcast, is that if we’re time famished, we act like shittier humans. When we’re time affluent, we’re more giving, generous, and charitable. It’s so obvious. But it’s wild to consider that actually, the world needs us to slow down. Not just for our own fulfillment and peace, but so that we have more to give to the movements, the communities, and the individuals who need our support.

Maybe don’t stack your schedule. Maybe don’t overcommit. Maybe don’t value dollars over flexible time. Maybe you’ll like who you show up as when you do

Tweet: when we have more space in our days, we have more space in our hearts: to understand, to create change, to donate resources, and https://ctt.ec/_RCuT+ care. Make time to give a damn. https://ctt.ec/FU9Xq+ @maxiemccoy

I’ll be slowing down this summer. Some of it forced. Some of it was needed. Some of it a gift of cultivation and recalibration for whatever is to come. So, if you’re finding more time in your days…because of a lost job, because of a shutdown city, because of a lack of motivation, because of cancelled trips or meetings…can you treat it as an invitation to sit still so you can see where in your world, your family, your community that your talents are needed? And if you have no such invitation, and your days are a bustling train-station of coming and going, what if you cancelled something? What if you uncommitted? What if you scratched those things off your to-do list not because you did them but because you decided you’re no longer going to try?

I’ll tell you, a little bit of downtime goes a wildly long way. For your world. And for ours. Turns out, when we have more space in our days, we have more space in our hearts: to understand, to create change, to donate resources, and heck…to care. Make time to give a damn. 

Woman on xx


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