Horoscopes have always been fun and interesting to me. Something to read every month and see what bright things might be on the horizon. Maybe there are deals coming in, maybe my relationships will be bliss, maybe I should redecorate my bedroom. I thoroughly enjoyed knowing about the possible good fortunes planned in my stars.
Until, and this is sorta embarrassing to admit, I started feeling some real anxiety about reading them. Somewhere, at some point, horoscopes went from something fun to read in the same way I’d read an interesting novel…to something that I was clinging to to give me actual direction about the weeks ahead. I’d end up having to calm myself down with a lot of self talk after reading potentially negative things in my stars: This month will be fine. There isn’t a huge fight on the horizon. You won’t suddenly wake up broke. You don’t have to worry about everyone you love. Logically, I knew this was ridiculous. But anxiety doesn’t listen to logic.
One of my favorite astrologers, Jessica Lanyadoo, who I interviewed in this week’s episode of WOMAN ON, says, “Don’t let astrology come at the expense of common sense.” Woops. Did that. I totally did that even though I know better.
I know that the future is wildly uncertain. I think 2020 showed us all that in the most dramatic ways. And no astrologer, psychic, forecast, news pundit, expert, polling, magic powers or crystal ball will be able to give known to the unknown. The unknown of this life is the entire point. Our future experiences, our future relationships, our future work, our future self: they’re not already out there. They’re being formed right now. By how we choose to show up today – for ourselves, for who we love, for the future.
The not knowing is the whole point. If we try to grasp tightly onto how we want things to go, or to remain, or to go according to plan, the more we set ourselves up to feel so much fear, worry and anxiety about anything that threatens to slip away. The only thing slipping is your experience of the moment. And this moment, these moments, are really all that you have. So try leaning into them instead of holding tightly to ones in the future that haven’t come yet.
Anxious thoughts about the future are hard. They can be intrusive. And I’ve noticed SO many people (myself included) dealing with those feels in ways that feel stronger and less manageable than years prior. You’re not alone if you feel like a crazy, screaming Rhonda has been let loose in your head from all this year’s chaos. But obsessively structuring your life around certainty for the future won’t actually protect you from it. It will, however, keep you from feeling fully alive and grateful right now.
If you’re feeling worried about what’s ahead, tell the Rhonda in your head to quiet down, kiss your shoulder and whisper something sweet to yourself, and go for a walk. Small things make the big worries in our heads feel better.
PS. Jessica is the real deal. And our episode is full of SO much of her wisdom on how we can become more intimate with ourselves, why we must choose ‘right’ over ‘easy’ AND she even does a quick compatibility read of me/my man and me/my biz partner!