Maxie McCoy

How to let a decision come slowly

I’ve always valued decisiveness. Looking for the quality in myself, I tend to lack self-compassion for when I “don’t know what to do.” Looking for it in others, loved ones who are indecisive stand in juxtaposition to the answer that seems so clear to me.

Not deciding means that we’re just not there yet. And it also normally means that we’re scared…of what might happen. The unknown. If we cross the murky ravine contained by our decision, so much might happen. Sinking could be inevitable, couldn’t it? It could. There’s always the possibility of failure delivered on a slow drip.

Deciding, I’m leaning, happens gradually, whether we see it that way or not. Just because a decision doesn’t occur in an instant, doesn’t mean it’s less valuable. Great decisions are the sum of tiny awakenings. Like the dawn of daylight, clarity that appears suddenly has been arriving all along.

Consider the great decisions of your recent history. Hindsight paints them to be momentous when in the moment they were simply, and only, what was being required of you at the time – to keep your personal peace, to step into your potential, to respect your dignity, to choose your self, to fully embrace your power without apology. 

Whether you walked away from love, in order to love yourself.
Or raised your voice in order to raise your bar.
Whether you turned down an opportunity that was good enough to signal the excellence of what you deserve.
Or left a home of known comforts to find a home of unknown, creative possibility.

Your decisions have been a long time coming. So, if a great decision is taking longer than you’d like, if someone else’s decision is being drawn out, remember there is no rush. Your decision is happening, whether you’ve decided or not. Give yourself grace. Let it take time. You’ll know when you know…you know?

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