Why you should get a little bored

Why you should get a little bored

There’s been more than one afternoon that I’ve laid on my little floor pouf and just stared at the ceiling. My phone was charging in the other room. Music wasn’t playing. Nobody was around. There wasn’t anything I felt like doing, really. There’s been more than one evening that I’ve walked the beach so lost in nature that I didn’t realize waves were soaking the bottom of my bright pink, floral kimono.

It was just me. My thoughts. My moment. Staring… Lost in not a single thought at all. I couldn’t have possibly told you what time it was. Or what I was thinking about. And I didn’t care.

In another life, I would have said I was bored. Anyone looking on would have probably said that too. Maybe I was. But the stillness was so soothing. It was freedom. I can’t tell you the last time I gave myself enough space to just be.

When was the last time you let yourself be bored?  To sit. Wander. Get lost. Forget time. Breathe.

Reconnect with soul

Let me tell you what happens when you do. You reconnect to that little girl who wants a voice. You finally hear the intuition that is screaming to be heard. You give yourself a reboot.

You have so much information being thrown at you in any given day. You’re bombarded with images and messages on your phone. You’re being demanded by the needs of your loved ones so much so that you forget your own.

But there’s a great purpose that is asking to be heard. There’s a bigger love that wants to be felt. Your great connection is like an old radio, you can choose to tune into the messages that are there embedded in the electromagnetic radiation. Or you can keep being just an old box that sits there.  A box with so much potential and capability to broadcast beautiful songs, tunes and messages…potential that could be realized if you’d just learn how to tune in and turn it on.

Tune in. Tune in. Tune in. And turn in up, loud. The world wants to dance to your music and rejoice in your song.Tweet: Tune in. Tune in. And turn in up, loud. The world wants to dance to your music and rejoice in your song. http://bit.ly/1zdWdyc @maxiemccoy

It requires work. And stillness. And discovery. But all of those things can happen when you give yourself the space from other people’s crap. The distance from distraction. The gift of time with your thoughts, knowledge and awareness.

Give yourself that today. Give yourself a little bit of that every day. Watch what happens when you reconnect with the messages of the Universe. They’re there, deep in your heart and in your intuition. Teach yourself how to listen (hint: it’s not with your ears). Train your heart to connect to your soul. Let a little boredom teach you how.


 

For more on the art of losing yourself, read my post on The College Prepster.

Do you believe in magic?

Do you believe in magic?

Everyone told me this place would be different.

There’s just something about it… You’ll feel it almost immediately…It’s different….You’ll be drawn to its magic. You’ll always be pulled back to that place. You’ll never want to leave.

Magic. It’s the word that just kept coming up about Bali. It’s what led me here. It’s what has kept me here. But I couldn’t figure out just what that magic was. I could sense it. But I didn’t know why. For over 6 weeks I casually pondered why I felt what I felt here.

Is it because they’re all so rooted in their Hindu beliefs? Is it because this place has strong connections to cultures they never contacted like the Mayans? Is it because of the healers here?

The answer might be a yes to all of it. But it wasn’t until this past week that I figured out what the magic of this place was. And how you actually don’t need to be here to access it.

Over the past weeks I’ve gotten really still in my spirit and in my soul. Most distractions are gone. And there’s nothing to do besides face my own fears of the future and my own happenings of the past. Or do neither and learn how to do the exact present. As it was happening I was so uncomfortable. Daily questioning what I was doing. Why I was doing this. After all, I was the one catalyzing the experience of my own discomfort.

And then something weird started. I’d focus my thoughts…and they would happen.

Maxie_Do_You_Believe_in_Magic

Looking back, it all began on the day I walked into my new villa and saw the lyrics of a random Abba song my brother-in-law had just played me before leaving for Bali. We had an entire discussion about this specific song. And Giants letters in my backyard were there to greet me a week later. Like what are the chances?

I’d be angry and the next day I had a fever. Weird manifestation of fire.

I’d catch myself mulling over past memories that didn’t serve me, and I’d have a dream about him. Why. 

I’d sit thinking about how I needed someone to help me get out of past thought patterns, and I’m serendipitously walking into the office of a metaphysical therapist. No way did that just happen. Not the plan.

My surfing coach would tell me about his favorite massage lady and the next week she’s the one who enters the spa to take care of me. The one I randomly stopped at. Like for real? I didn’t even know where you worked.

I’d say out loud that I really needed someone with specific expertise to guide me in some of my future endeavors, and I had a text offering the potential of just that from someone I had never even thought of. Halleluja.

It was tripping me up. The Universe was serving me up my thoughts at lightening fast speed. It scared me and impressed me all in the same moment.

And it took weeks of this happening before I even realized what was going on. But upon the realization, that’s when it hit me: the magic of this place is the speed at which you manifest.

The reason it happens and the reason the magic exists is because everyone here believes in the power of their thoughts. It’s collective intelligence. That’s what the magic is.

When everyone believes in the power of our energy, our energy has more power.Tweet: When everyone believes in the power of our energy, our energy has more power. http://ctt.ec/eFNdg+ @maxiemccoy

I’ll give you the metaphor my metaphysical healer gave me: when a crossword puzzle first comes out, it’s impossible. But as more and more people have completed it, the speed at which people complete the puzzle is so much faster than it was in the beginning. Whether we acknowledge it or not, we access the energy of the thoughts around us and before us.

When everyone in a single concentrated places believes in magic, in “Universe” things happening which may seem illogical. Or when everyone believes in the power of our thoughts. Or in the strong reality of our energy. It happens quicker, faster and more obviously.

Magic isn’t illusive. It’s real. It’s accessible through the power of our energy and our thoughts. The more we all believe the magic, the more it will go to work for us…for beautiful, soulful, sometimes surprising experiences.

Believe in your power. It’s in you. It’s in all of us. You have to embrace that because everyone deserve a little magic.

Because you’re alive

Because you’re alive

You were born into this world kickin’ and screaming. And the Universe loved the shit out of you.

From that moment, because of that moment, love is your divine right. It’s not something cordoned off for the special ones, the beautiful ones, the funny ones, the skinny ones, the smart ones.

Love is a right for all the ones. Crazy, cranky, fabulous, the mistaken and lost. Love, no matter how you twist her, is yours.

You’re love. You deserve love. Simply because you exist.Tweet: You’re love. You deserve love. Simply because you exist. #happyVDAY http://ctt.ec/Gw8hj+ @maxiemccoy

So if your parents sucked at showing you that, I’m sorry. But you’re still loved.

If that ass hole broke your insides and gave you everything but love, my heart hears you. But the Universe never stopped loving you.

When friends treat you like shit. A boss demeans you. A driver cuts you off.  Coffee spills on your white blouse. Your temper roars. You tell a lie. You do the breaking. I ache for you. I get it. But none of that (NONE) changes how much you are loved from something so much bigger, stronger, wider, deeper and eternal.

XOXO

The one original energy. The one pure light. The one perfect source. It’s yours. It’s always been yours. And it’s love.

It’s unconditional. It didn’t have a beginning and it doesn’t have an end. It’s cosmic. It’s beyond you. And it’s love.

Fuck the haters. And the fear. And the rough patches. And the heartache. Regardless of any of it, you? You’re all love. You’re completely loved. And that sweet valentine is all you need today and every day.


Want to be the very best Valentine this holiday? Check out my post on the College Prepster and get ready to valentine the shit out of yourself! 

Valentine's Day Tips

Living a life YOU want, desire and rejoice in…

Living a life YOU want, desire and rejoice in…

Remember that scene in Eat Pray Love when Elizabeth Gilbert ends up on her bathroom floor, hears the voice of god, and then ends up on her wild journey through Italy, India and Bali?

It’s a dramatic moment…when things fall a part. When you wake up to the life you’re living. When you’re inconsolable and pleading with the Universe for more. for help. for strength.

The line from that book that has stayed with me for years and often rings in the background of my life is, “I had actively participated in every moment of the creation of this life”

We are all active participants. We are actively choosing and living this life that we’ve built. But the question remains: is it yours? Is it one of your dreams? Is it one you love?

WITH LOVE

I’ll never forget being in the back of a cab a few months ago when I heard a very, very loud whisper in my soul. It felt one part day dream, one part wishful thinking, one part calling, and one part demand. It said I needed to go. To leap. To create. And it scared me to the core.

But things aren’t that bad! But this idea is impossible! But you’re not even that unhappy! But you just moved into a new apartment! But your family will think you’re crazy! 

I heard so many reasons not to listen to that call. But I did something in that moment, instead of believing the excuses.

I decided.

I decided that the life I was living wasn’t going in the direction I saw. So come hell and high-water, I resolved to live out that crazy daydream, thinking, calling, whisper. So many excuses could have gotten in the way. Leases, loved ones, job security, approval, finances… but I just kept reminding myself that if I didn’t run as fast as I could at creating the life I wanted, I was running away from it. And the only one here to create that life is me. Full stop.

Here’s the nutty thing about risking discomfort for what you know is deep in your soul: the universe will come to your support. Not to say it’ll be easy. But you’ll be supported.

What whispers are you ignoring? What callings are you talking yourself out of? What excuses are you making?

You’re the only one designing this life. Make sure it’s the one you want.Tweet: You’re the only one designing this life. Make sure it’s the one you want. http://ctt.ec/0feW6+ @maxiemccoy


The Goal Digger Giveaway ends soon!! Make sure you enter to win a life-changing goal coaching session and a show-stopping gold bracelet!!

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For when you’re feeling down…

You know that love you feel so deeply for your child, your partner, your mother? It wouldn’t be possible without heart crushing breaks.

The accomplishment you felt upon snagging that exciting new job?  Never would happen without rejection on rejection.

The date with that hot ass man? It also came with about a million not so hot ass dates.

Riding in on a killer wave during the rain below a giant rainbow in the sky? Ya, well you also got body slammed a million times by the ocean to get there.

Laughs and laughs and laughs and laughs? There were also many, many tears.

Feeling down, shitty, uninspired, rocky, worthless, scared, confused? Well that can’t come with out joy either. You’re just on the other side of it right now.

You’re not on the wrong side. Your negative feelings aren’t bad. They’re just there. They’re life. And you cannot avoid them. In fact, you’d be better off going towards them. Playing in them. Frolicking even.

When you’re down and uneasy, don’t try and escape it. It’s your gift to unwrap.Tweet: When you’re down and uneasy, don’t try and escape it. It’s your gift to unwrap. http://bit.ly/1CxoGDJ @maxiemccoy

It’s your path to travel down that will lead you to what life has in store. It ambiguous and unchartered.

You might have a moment of feeling bad. You might have many moments of it. But quit searching for the good ones. The more you resist the “badness” of what you’re feeling, the harder it will be to accept your situation.

And you need acceptance in order to do what you truly need to do in these moments: let go. To all of it: to the judgement of it. To the desire to leave it. To the natural cling of certainty. Let it all go and feel the freedom of this crazy ambiguity that is life.

Your happiness requires moments when you’re not so happy. Accept the constant flow between the two and you’ll redefine what happiness means to begin with.

That dirty, dirty guilt

Ohhhh guilt. You can feel him on your heels. You can feel him reaching his cold, grimy little hands about to lurch out at you.

And you’ve got to run. You have to run so damn hard. And you can’t stop until you’re in the clear. Until you’re so far gone from the feelings of guilt that you don’t even remember what you were feeling guilty about in the first place.

Living your life with ease and in line with your desires requires shoving guilt out of the picture.Tweet: Living your life with ease and in line with your desires requires shoving guilt out of the picture. http://bit.ly/15RKWw3 @maxiemccoy

But it’s hard to escape him because he’s fast. And creeps up on you without even realizing it’s him. Before you know it he’s got you. And you’re making decisions that don’t serve you. You say yes, a lot and it’s ruining your ability to stay in tune with what you want. And what you need. You’re compromising on your non-negotiables because Mr. Guilt Man is holding your hand. You’re pleasing and putzing because guilt must feel better than disapproval. Or does it?

I know because I’ve been letting guilt win. I spent a week so worried about doing what I knew was right in an effort not to let down some people whom I love dearly.  The guilt was clouding everything so much I didn’t even realize how much of the situation and perceived feelings I was making up. Hello mountain out of a molehill.

In the end, I had the right conversations and made the decisions that were right (for me), but it didn’t come without dancing with Mr. Guilt Man just a little too long.

Let me tell you, he’s not a good dancer. So don’t let him take this dance. This dance is your dance. When you feel the guilt creeping in, you remind yourself what your truths are. What your needs are. And why.

Write them down. Remind yourself. Tell someone who will support you. And ditch the guilt. It’ll do nothing but bring you down and lead you towards compromises that dim your aura.

Are you at war?

Two sides. There’s conflict. Arguing and contradictions. Hot energy and fire and fire and fire. There’s a war.

This war isn’t a physical one. It’s not a tale of two counties. It’s not a battle over religion or oil.

And it’s not a war that will have a winner.

But it is just as damaging. It will leave both sides weak. And when it’s all said and done, what started the entire thing is buried deep in the destruction, hard to remember and even harder to find. Few will want what’s left.

I wish this war wasn’t happening. But it is. And it’s happening in that beautiful brain of yours.

You don’t trust . You second guess. You undermine. You judge. You do this all to yourself.

Why?? I’m going to ask it one more time… why??

I ask why because it takes so so much energy to engage with yourself like this. And let me tell me what’s happening while you’re at war with yourself…

You miss the beautiful meal with your best friends because you’re so busy freaking out over that extra glass of wine you just had.

You don’t receive the compliment because you’re too busy wondering what’s wrong with him that he’d think that about you

You pass up a killer opportunity because the bitchy voice in there said you weren’t ready.

Your moment is gone. And you’ll never get it back. Because you were in judgy, yukky, shamey, war land up there.

So much was missed. So much was lost. But it doesn’t have to be.

Your dreams need your energy so damn badly. Your love needs your love. Your creativity needs your calmness.Tweet: Your dreams need your energy so damn badly. Your love needs your love. Your creativity needs your calmness http://bit.ly/1HabQ2J @maxiemccoy

Your life needs you, not the battling version of you, but the one united force – of your mind. your heart. your soul. your energy. your spirit.

When they come together, so will everything else. So stop the war already, will you?

On being wrong…Deliciously wrong

If you ask my family, they’d say I love being right. And while I am right most of the time with them.

Being right can feel nice, for a moment. But being wrong gives us something that lasts a lifetime. We learn from being wrong. Who ever learned from being right? Not this girl. I still remember getting my first B on a spelling test in Mr. Bell’s second grade class for misspelling ‘exercise’. If anything, that tells us how how deep the lesson is planted when we’re wrong.

Learning to spell ‘exercise’ hasn’t been the only unforgettable lesson I’ve learned from a mistake, these are right up there with that abominable spelling word:

Talking won’t always help

If the prolific amount of words found on this blog over the course of almost 3 years is any indication of my love for words… it’s probably obvious that I work through things with communication. I love talking things out. I love analyzing. I love problem solving. I love juicy conversations over wine with my girlfriends. I love conversation with strangers. I always thought that made things better. Sometimes it does, but sometimes it just gets your panties in a knot-of-a wod. You’re worked up. Things are out of proportion. And if you’d just shut the heck up about it, the issue that you’ve used your words to turn into a disaster would probably go away. Not long ago, I had some major things happening that I kept 95% mum about, and I found I was so.much.less. worked up about something so major. #lessonlearned

It’s either joy, or its not

A few weeks ago I couldn’t have loved more the fact that I was on the other side of the world. I was pumped: for the space. the experience. the adventure. the travel. the creativity. the building block. But in the same moments of loving my life decision, I was equally as W-T-F. Why am I here. What am I doing. Is this awful or awesome? I can’t quite tell. And I couldn’t tell because it was both. I was happy and unhappy about all of the same things. And that’s OK. Life is messy and fluid. We’re experiencing so many things at any given moment. Knowing that both the joyful and unjoyful parts of the spectrum can exist within the same experiences can and should allow us to quit judging the feeling of the moment so much.

Your interests are your identity

I’m doing things I never would have been interested in 3 or 4 years ago. I chose to hike up a volcano over night in the pouring rain on my birthday. I’m surfing aka spending hours and hours on a floating board in the middle of the freaking ocean, and I’m liking it. I’m playing with strange dogs on the beach just because they’re cute. I’m watching hours of videos on quantum mechanics and cannot get enough. Our interests aren’t us. They can and should change. Think about all the things you say no to because “you’re not into that”. Are you really not? Or is that just what seems to fit your definition of self? I’m learning what’s on the other side of our interest identities, boy did I have it wrong…there’s so much fun to be had when we do something even if it isn’t “us”.

Knowing will make it better

I’m a person that wants the details. Or I think I do. How may people actually slip climbing this mountain? Could I get a staph infection from this surfboard? Is he married yet? I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes that knowledge will make things worse for you, not better. It’s knowledge that isn’t going to affect your decision either way, so then why look? Why know? Ignorance can be a beautiful thing and can keep you focused on the important things – like having fun, enjoying the moment, working on the task at hand.

I’ve had some major errors in judgement – some big and some small. Some worth writing about and some not. But here’s what I do know about being wrong: it’s a gift. It shouldn’t be feared. It should be accepted and respected.

You grow, stretch and glisten because of the lessons learned from being wrong.Tweet: You grow, stretch and glisten because of the lessons learned from being wrong. @maxiemccoy http://ctt.ec/b4fXj+

The best way to find your balance

Balance is a funny thing. We hear about it often – from staying emotionally balanced to finding work-life balance. It’s a rather interesting asset that we seem to place a lot of emphasis on.

Where does it come from? How do you find it?

Balance has come up a lot for me in the past few weeks, specifically in a physical sense. From trying to learn how to scooter to learning how to surf, my balance has been in a constant cross fire.

And at the beginning of both of those experiences, as soon as I began to feel myself losing equilibrium, I bolted. I would slam on my breaks and put my feet onto the ground while on my scooter. While surfing, I give my instructors great joy and myself great pain, belly flopping off the surf board and crashing into the water – unwilling to wait the imbalance out in order to stabilize. I’d ditch the board and plunge into the wave.

Then, I came across this adorable little sign at a shop by the beach that read: “The best way to find your balance is to keep moving.”

I stood there, staring. Reading it again and again: The best way to find your balance is to keep moving.Tweet: The best way to find your balance is to keep moving. @maxiemccoy http://ctt.ec/G35mO+ ‎

That’s exactly it. Both on my scooter and on my surfboard, the more I kept moving forward, the more I found my balance. Ditching the situation just left me frustrated (and sometimes in pain). But when I kept going, not only did I find my balance, I made progress and I got places.

What a reminder for all the moments we’re feeling like we’re about to lose it. When we’re feeling like we don’t know how to walk the tight-rope and keep the wave of life any longer…we just have to keep going. We might fall, we might tumble, but eventually we’ll find our balance and see ourselves getting farther than we ever thought possible before.

The only way to find your balance is to keep moving. So go baby go…keep moving and dreaming and pushing forward. You will find your equilibrium amongst it all.

26 lessons I learned while 26

26 lessons I learned while 26

The sunset is setting in my 26th year. Literally. I’m on a beach in Bali writing this on my last day of 26, thinking about all that came and went, like the waves crashing not far from my feet.

It was a year of lessons, that’s for sure. Isn’t every? But something about 26 was particularly teaching. It was messy. It was freeing. It was scary. It was so so fun. And above all, it was loving.

I grew, with pains, and with new perspective. I laughed a lot. Cried hard. And wondered often.

So my birthday gift to myself, is one to you: may you learn from my lessons, remember you’re not alone, and as my friend Amanda would say is the worst advice ever: it’s all, always, going to work out. 

1. Don’t hide from vulnerability. Even when it means that you might end up in a puddle of pain, do it anyways.

2. Propose new ideas that you can and want to take on. It might be a long shot. But you also just might end up spending 3 months in Europe.

3. Go ahead and show up at his door. (Or hers). There’s something beautiful about being so unafraid to love…even if you’re wrong.

4. Say yes often. To strangers. To new friend. To weird opportunities. Adventure awaits.

5. Use your words for good. They’re so much more powerful that way.

6. Don’t let distance keep you from the ones you love. 

7. Fall and get back up. Every time. Even if it takes you a while.

8. Be OK with being angry. Just make sure you understand what it is you’re protecting.

9. Give. and meditate. They’re two things that quite literally have the power to change your life.

26 lessons

10. If you get a chance to see Britney Spears in Vegas. Say yes.

11. No matter your religion. Or your beliefs. You’ll feel the energy of the spirit at the holiest sites in the world. So go to them.

12. Make time for a dinner at sunset by yourself. You’ll never feel more connected than watching the greatest light show on earth.

13. Don’t stalk any ex’s social media. Just don’t. For real.

14. When you feel wronged, let it go. Honor it, and let it go.

15. Get on a last minute plane to surprise someone you love. It’s too fun. 

16. Don’t shy away from other people’s grief. The greatest gift you can give is to sit with them in that. Plus, they really need you in those moments.

17. Ask for help from people smarter and more talented than you. They want to see you succeed.

18. Take a leap of faith. And take it often.

19. Raise your hand for the opportunity that scares the shit out of you. You’ll be so proud you did.

20. Learn to surf. It’s the greatest sport you never knew you’re missing.

21. Be OK being alone. And be equally OK with feeling lonely.

22. Get rid of the constant weighing yourself habit. A number is not your worth.

23. Family. Near, far, blood or not. Family.

24. When the voice in your head has a crazy idea. Honor it. And act. It just might be your calling.Tweet: When the voice in your head has a crazy idea. Honor it. And act. It just might be your calling. http://ctt.ec/hMiFg+ @maxiemccoy

25. You’re constantly growing. What you didn’t like last year may just be something you fall in love with this year. Like dogs.

26. You are connected to something so much bigger. Your time here, however fleeting, is a journey of the spirit. Do everything in your power to stay connected to that. To the universe guiding you. To your soul’s whispering to go after your dreams. And to the sweet, sweet love of this cosmic experience.