Get raw and stay there.


Stay where you can be moved. Stay where you’ve rolled away the stones. Stay where you’re free. Where you’re vulnerable. Stay where your heart is open and your spirit is on display. Where everything is beautiful because it feels possible. Where things have meaning. Real meaning. Stay raw.

Let the begging child break your heart.
Be enraged at injustice and inequity.
Question why.
Accept nothing other than everything for every one. Because we’re human.
Get cathartic.
Refuse to understand planned tragedy.
Never understand agendas.
Shout to the heavens.
Open your arms to the sky.
Mumble. Scream. Wonder. Chant.
Listen to your soul.
No matter what.
No. Matter. What.

Don’t let the going harden your heart. Don’t let the status quo and the resistance and the past keep you from doing. Don’t let in hate. Let there be no as is. Let there be no one telling you it can’t be done. That it can’t be changed. Let no one, most especially you…keep that bright white beating heart from wincing. From stinging. From a dull ache.

With an ache you’ll know to wonder why. Feeling something means you can question if there’s a better way. You’ll stand in the darkness of your mind with the door of your heart wide open and sense something is coming to you. Something headed your way that you cannot see.

What you can’t see, you can feel. Feel too much. Feel too clearly. Feel. Feeling. Is the only way. In that rawness we know we’re alive. From there we can fight. And know our why. For what matters. To us. By us. For us. All of us. We discover who our us is. Because we’re one. And then we join. We lead. We walk.

Stay raw. Rawness is wholeness. It’s staying open. It’s vulnerable. It’s the inside out.  And it will change everything.Tweet: Stay raw. Rawness is wholeness. It's vulnerable. It's the inside out. And it will change everything. @maxiemccoy

Be quick to open and slow to close. Be ready to fight and willing to bleed. Prepare yourself to be moved. And then move. Moving, doing, being. For something bigger. Is where the edge of the rawness softens.

Until you feel something worth healing for. Worth fighting for. Stay raw.

Glory hallelujah. Stay raw.

Shine up your armor. Summon your guards. For this…

Why wait?

Why wait to settle in and show off all those crazy, weird, out there, sometimes eccentric, sometimes too much, unicorn qualities? Why wait one second longer to be the fullest expression of you?

You are different. You have high moments. You have silly moments. You have weird moments. We all do.

Every second you live this life being anything other than you, is a second you’ve lost.

Here’s the tough reality… it’s hard. It takes fighting against norms at every turn. Maybe you don’t love who they love. Perhaps you’re not into that whole 9-to-5 thing. Maybe you never want to be married.  Or you don’t want to wear what’s cool. You say the F-word “too much”. Maybe your hair doesn’t look like everyone else’s. You don’t have a filter. And the music you listen to is odd. Maybe you like eating “weird” things. Or your laugh is louder than most.

I’ve always felt the energy of difference. And I’ve fought it where I could. I’ve fought it where I once thought I should. Don’t talk so much. Don’t be so loud. You’re really tall maybe you should slump. Straighten the curls. Bad jokes. Too many f-bombs. More listening. Less about you. Less flash. Tone it down. Think like a sane person, get your head out of the clouds. Be normal. Hold your tongue. Until I realized fighting meant changing. Changing meant losing. And what I really needed was to sink into my skin. There I would find ease. There I would find flow. There I would find those voices telling me to be a version of myself I wasn’t quickly got muffled. They were easier to ignore. In my skin is what allowed me to connect to my own light…the one that I could follow to fully loving each and every moment of being me.

Safeguard. Safeguard every single one of your differences. It’ll safeguard your soul.

Every layer of weird. or different. or odd. or special. or whatever they call it, is what you should put every ounce of energy protecting.

Get your circle to lock hands around you and you for them. Shine up the armor of every day protection. Summon the energy shield that reminds you that what makes you different is what makes you shine. It will protect you when the going gets homogenous. When the resistance gets tough. When you wonder for a moment if you’re just supposed to conform?

Don’t do it. It takes someone different to make a dent. It takes your difference to blaze a path.

 A difference requires your difference. Protect. Shield. Guard. Defend. Nobody needs another them.Tweet: A difference requires your difference. Protect. Shield. Guard. Defend. Nobody needs another them. @maxiemccoy

Leave without going. The big how.

Sometimes places come to an end. People too. The leaving is the doing. The leaving is the inevitable. It’s the full-circle journey. You come and you leave.

But when you leave different…. more full. more centered. more aware. more open. Changed. Do you really ever go?

Places stay with you. People show you. Journeys change your soul.Tweet: Places stay with you. People show you. Journeys change your soul. @maxiemccoy

And when the time comes and the season changes… You may be ready to leave but don’t want to go.

It’s normal. It’s real. It’s love. And connection. And human.

But experiences, and the places and people that come with them, they serve a purpose for us. They’re not always meant to be forever. And we’re not always meant to hold on to the point we never really learn what they gave us.

I’m on the cusp of leaving a place that gave me a beautiful gift – a gift of knowing myself more. of loving myself deeper. of showing me what solitude is made of. What creativity looks like. And the true power of my power. There are very few heart doors left closed. I found hurt I hadn’t handled. Love I hadn’t learned. Calm I didn’t know. And inner control I didn’t previously know I had.

And I’m ready to leave. But for weeks I didn’t want to go.

I didn’t want to go because I didn’t want to lose it. And I’ve spent weeks dreading the going. Does leaving mean undoing? Does it mean the doors close back. The soul shrinks down. The power dwindles. The voices louden. And the creativity evaporates? I cried. I worried. And then I realized (finally)…

Only if I let it.

Only if you let it. You’ll learn amazing lessons from the journeys in your life. From the people too. But their proximity is not synonymous with keeping what they taught you. You learn so you can take it (them) with you.

So here’s a little trick taught to me by one of my brightest stars in Bali… when you are ready to leave but you don’t want to go… before you’ve finished the final zip on your luggage and bags…close your eyes.

Close your eyes and imagine the biggest, most expansive jar. Like a mason jar but the size of the Milky Way. And begin to fill it. Fill it with the spirit and the lessons. Fill it with the energy and the people. Fill it with the joy. Fill it with the love. Fill it with the memories. Fill it with the smell of the air, the taste of the coffee and the color of the sunsets. Fill it with the puppy that licked the salt from your leg. Fill it with everything you love about the place. Everything you love about yourself in that place. And then seal it. Seal the jar.

It’ll be a jar that you can open for years to come…when you need it…when the energy and the connection to what you’re leaving is slipping. You can tap in. Breath in. Absorb. Soak. and Gulp.

It’s yours. When you leave. So you don’t have to ever, truly go.

About that whole do more thing…

About that whole do more thing…

Gotta push. Gotta run. Gotta get. Gotta be. More. So much more. M – O – R – E. More.

And it’s not always so bad, the wanting more thing. Especially when you see that vision of a future so clearly, gosh darnet if you could just give one ounce more, wouldn’t you get there quicker?

Your drive is beautiful. Your work ethic commendable. But your pressure? Beb it’s only manageable if it’s focused. Only if it’s so laser focused on what actually matters to move your needle along.

In college, me and the galpals, we used to have a cardinal vow: no accessorizing or makeup after your first cocktail. That loosey goosey I want to wear everything and every color kind of woosey didn’t equate to girl work it. So we made the rule. And I vividly remember having lipstick slapped out of my hand and the big “UH uh go back in your dorm and take that necklace off” homegirl finger point. Fierce loyalty in the form of brutal honesty to this day.

But today, where I am, and where you likely are, nobody is slapping anything out of my hand and they’re not telling me less is more. Although sometimes I wish someone would come by and smack my computer shut and say enough. Max, what you have is enough. You’re doing enough.

More happens when we go deep. When we take that beautiful framework we’ve created from our soul and deepen it. Make a few things so so much better. Hire people or interns or help for the things you hate (and probably didn’t want to do anyways). Focus on a couple things that make you feel better each day and do those…and only those. One project at a time. The book can wait. The website overhaul can wait. The cleaning out the garage can wait…when you’re already putting your energies to the important things, other things can wait. Because you know you. You know they’ll see their light of day.

When you let other things wait, it means you’re doing fewer things but rocking them so much harder.

You’ll feel more productive. You’ll be happier with outcomes. And you’ll know that what you’re doing is enough, by giving up the self-inflicted pressure of more more more.  Oh the glory of that sweet release.

Less less less. Baby rock the less. Less done better IS more.Tweet: Less less less. Baby rock the less. Less done better IS more. @maxiemccoy

I’m taking a page in my own “do less better” book as I work on the launch of Maxie. Which is coming your way in less than a month!! I’ll be posting countdowns, new photos, and behind-the-scenes to my brand spankin’ new facebook page.

Screen Shot 2015-04-13 at 1.05.10 PM

Oh, change. Do you really want it?

Change, oh change.

You want the most out of this life. Honey child we all do. You want big dreams and big love and bigger than notorious B I G big.

But what if I told you the only way there was to turn the freaking sauna up and sit. Sit with the melting. Pause in the constant drip of sweats. Feel the pulse of your heart throbbing. Get so hella umaneagably hot. Strip off your shirt, two seconds away from yelling HAULT THE HOTNESS. Stop the heat. Dry the sweat. Cut this crap out.

I wouldn’t blame you. This hot natured chick only handles the heat with hella belly sweat and sexy. I’d be the first to say skip the sauna, I don’t want it that bad.

The sauna isn’t an option. It’s actually the only way.

You want the change. But do you really want what it takes to get there? I was proposed that question in a recent reading.

Do you? Do I?

I’ve about pulled the plug one too many times. Am I really doing this? No no no let’s take a step back. Did I really just show up in a foreign country to live! Ummmm this sucks. Somebody get me a plane ticket back stat. Plan all these speaking events? No no no don’t wanna where’s a girl to hide. But wait. I want this. I really want this. All of this. So then deal. And do.

Discomfort will settle in places you didn’t know were there…. When you really dig into change. It will expose corners of your darkness you didn’t know were a problem. Shoot, that you didn’t even know existed.

And you’ll only get there, the there there, when you dig into the discomfort in solitude.

What if all the discomfort, these stressors you were feeling, were simply preparing you for something to come. They’re preparing you to receive gifts that you didn’t know you wanted.

Future change dips into the past.  It shoots tremors into your soul to prepare you for it’s massive blitzing beauty of an earthquake that’s about to rip your shit open. Out will pour the heat of your power. Out will flow your magic.

You feel the coming of change in the form of current discomfort.Tweet: You feel the coming of change in the form of current discomfort. @maxiemccoy

Remember that when you’re like holy F* this. Remember that when you’re so so over it. Over it all. Call on that when you’re crawling in your skin. Remind yourself that change is a comin’ when your forehead is on the steering wheel and some mixture of snot and saline is dripping on your lap.

It’s coming. You’re preparing. This is a gift. What’s on the other side will be worth it. So epically worth it.

When the yuck of I suck starts bubbling up

When the yuck of I suck starts bubbling up

There will be days. Oh boy will there be days. Days when you just can’t get past it. No matter what you do that funk settles into your bones the way spring eases into summer.

You didn’t even know it was happening and soon your head hurts. You don’t want to work. You don’t want to create. You’re the victim of your own comparison and lack of compassion. You’re on a giant yellow slip and slide and you don’t know how to get off.

You’ll spring off. You will. But only if.

Only if you don’t let it settle into your soul.

The I suck. They’re better. If only. One day. I should be doing that. Doing better. Trying even harder. I’ll never build that. Be that. Write that. Say that. Like that.

The tide of yuck is going to crash into you sometimes. It’s part of being alive. It’s part of being human. Being out there, living and trying and doing means you’ve stepped in the sea where there are swells of waves. And big surprise comin at ya: Waves crash. But you don’t have to. Any surfer will tell you to dive into the wave, under it…it still crashes, but you’re left with less fall out.

Here’s why. Because in all of that comparing and feeling the shit of not being them…you found the Wally effing Wonka of a gold ticket.

It’s the ticket that says you will never be that. Or do it like that. Or say it like that. And THAT is exactly why, precisely why, you don’t suck. Not even close.

And it’s even more why (that’s a thing) you’re going to blaze into your future. On fire. Sparks flying. People watching. Awe. So much awe for what you’re able to do. For what you ARE. You’re a bright, burning blistering blaze…because of all the reasons you feel the comparison yuck.

Flip your script right now. Your thinking and comparing and I need something else wishing. Flip it into your why. Your big ole heavenly why for exactly why you’re going to be and do everything you need with all that you already have.

When the yuck of I suck starts bubbling up, it’s up to you. Up to you to remind yourself that all the discomfort you’re currently causing yourself can be eased by remembering…

Not being them is exactly what makes you you.Tweet: Not being them is exactly what makes you you. @maxiemccoy

And you are the absolute greatest gift, to all of us.

Need a break from today? Dream hard and dream often. Read this post on the College Prepster for a little dreamer nudge.

How to be a dreamer

Be Bat Shit Passionate

It takes a certain kind of nuts to see the future and make it yours. The creatives, the change makers, the doers, the believers… They’re the crazy ones, as the late Steve Jobs would say.

Over the weekend I stumbled upon a beautiful quote shared by Elizabeth Gilbert about being utterly crazy, unapologetically passionate…about being Bat Shit Freaking Passionate.

Yes. Yesssss. Sweet Mary, Holy Ganesha, hold the stars YES.

That’s the way to change. It’s the way towards fulfillment. It’s the way out of mediocrity and into undeniable understanding of purpose. To follow your passion no matter what anyone thinks.

Follow it to mars.

Follow it to Bali.

Follow it to their doorstep.

Follow it to freedom.

Follow it to heartbreak.

Follow it to closure.

Follow it to fulfillment.

Follow it faster. And farther. And fearlessly, fervently. I don’t give a f*word further. Follow it there.

Go all out. Go nuts. Be sparked. Lose your mind for the thing, or goal or one you love. And don’t apologize for it. Never apologize for it.

All who see the unseen are always the first to be called crazy. All who sacrifice and push and change and live in the clouds are the first to be called too passionate. Well, one up them all and own it.

And be bat shit passionate.

There’s nothing better. There’s nothing crazier. There’s nothing more fun. Find what flips the passionate switch and flip it hard. Eventually they’ll want what you’ve got…because you’re on.

You’re not sleep walking through life. You’re walking on a pit of fire. Every day. Every moment. You’re upping the stakes. Upping the anty. To see just how much you can get out of this life.

It’s more than you can imagine. It’s better than you can dream. It’s bigger than you can plan. If you live your life with your soul busted open, with passion leading the dance, there’s so much more for you than you can currently grasp.

So let go right now. Let go of status quo. Let go of fitting in. Let go of getting your hopes up and rage.

Rage with love. Rage with passion. Get a little freaky, ya girl they’re looking at you kinda deaky.Tweet: Rage with love. Rage with passion. Get a little freaky, ya they're looking at you, kinda deaky. @maxiemccoy

You’re bat shit. Bananas. Passion or bust. Moving on.

Punch. Don’t Roll…When to stop going with the flow

“If you’re not swimming up stream you’re going the wrong way.”

I get it. I dig it. But I’m a teamwork girl. I work with others well. I’m a lover not a fighter so should I really be fighting my way up stream?

That was that. End of contemplation on the little fishy quote written on a blackboard.

Fast forward a few weeks and I’m reading a riveting opinion on a major gender controversy in the Silicon Valley and suddenly I want to be that a little fishy in a strong stream fighting to do everything I can to go the other way. The way I see the light. The way I know to be right, morally. The one that takes balls and voice and sweat and…bravery. For myself and more importantly for someone else.

I’m speaking up. I’m pointing to the other way. Please for the love of g flip a u-ey.

The more you go with the flow, the harder it is to turn around when you realize you’re going the wrong way. The harder it is for those following you, too.

This has looked pretty differently in my life, and likely yours.

  • Pass me up for the much less qualified dude when there wasn’t a single woman in your office? Boys club bullshit. Upset. But maybe he was better? Unlikely, I google stalked his mediocre creds. Roll with it…
  • Overhear them talking about someone I know, love and respect? Stay silent. I shouldn’t have even heard that. Don’t want to be lumped in with her. Don’t want to be nosey. Hold my tongue. Roll with it…
  • Touch my ass at a bar? Tell him it’s not OK. Quietly. With a velvet hammer voice. Don’t physically shove him even if you want to. Don’t make a scene. Roll with it…
  • Watch them tell lies. Become a part of the lies. Maybe this is just optics? Part of the game? Roll with it…
  • Listen to a group make some questionable jokes about The Other. Be that girl? They’ve just had too many drinks. Make an issue of it? Nah. Take an integrity hit. Roll with it…

Rolling so hard. So often. Dizzy. So many punches.

Soon you’re rolling with every punch. You’re amenable. You’re agreeable. You’re a great person to have around.

At a cost. At a major effing cost.

How long are you going to roll with the punches? How long are you going to swim with the stream? Do you even want to go where they’re going?

You might cause a scene. You might make an issue. You might have people talking about you. You may even cause people to dislike you. But you’ll have the right people. And you’ll have your integrity, your voice, and your cause. You’ll be doing it for something or someone.

Quit rolling with the punches.

Quit going with the flow when it breaches that contract you have with your soul.Tweet: Quit going with the flow when it breaches that contract you have with your soul. @maxiemccoy

You’ll know when you’re on the verge of breaking it. That white angel on your shoulder, she’ll throw up a warning when you’re tip toeing the line, in the form of a big ass pit the size of Texas in your belly. Listen to her. She’ll give you the strength to punch back to whatever comes your way.

Stop rolling. Stop flowing. Swim hard. Punch harder. It matters.

Your protectors and what you’re protecting.

Energy. energy. energy. energy. This world. This life. It’s all just energy. Your energy is all you’ve got. It’s powerful. It’s source. It’s wildly unique. And it’s utterly, blissfuly yours.

So is mine. I feel it everywhere I go:

  • Walking around Berlin…. walled. so heavy. woah.
  • Meeting my sweet metaphysical healer… body slammed. this should be fun. open up. Let him see you. Allow yourself to be healed.
  • Feeling the tide rise while I’m standing toes in the sand…clear, pure. purest of pure. All is well.
  • Seeing the sign. The very big obvious sign…so universe. so connected. our shit is so connected.
  • Tough conversation with a major debbie downer… sucked dry. tank empty. agitate me off a cliff will ya?

Good and bad. It’s there…It’s always there. Your energy. Are you noticing it? And more importantly…are you protecting it?

There are moments you’ll have someone fill up that beautiful soul of yours. And there will be moments you’ll have someone take and take and take. If you let them. They’ll drain. They’ll empty. They’ll keep lowering the limbo bar to see how far down you’ll come until you ass plant on the floor.

You can limbo ass plant. Or you can protect. Fiercely, passionately protect that most powerful source you have.Tweet: Fiercely, passionately protect that most powerful source you have. #energy @maxiemccoy

How? Well, trial and error and fairy dust. And no more limbo.

I’m learning. Little tips and tricks to keep my universe tank on hella full.

Mastered: Ditch the suckers, the drainers, the pull you down, lower the bar, lie when you fly, laugh when you fall, disbelievers. And don’t look back. Not once. And don’t believe the even louder one in your head. Not ever.

Learning: Keeping that tongue on the roof of your mouth. Always. Especially around the lingering drainers. It connects the ends of your two major meridian lines to create a complete circuit…waving in the wizards, summoning the fairies, and physically saying I don’t think so to the dark stuff. Negative Nancies and Douchey Dougs? Tongue. on. roof.

Pick what works. The energizers. The protectors. The you can do it mama believers. Tie them to your soul. Summon your security guards. Your talisman, your rosary, your crystals, your heirloom, your malas and your tongue…Point them at your energy. It’s worth protecting.

What bravery looks like (so far)

I don’t remember where I was exactly. Or why it happened. But I can absolutely recall the spirit-tingle of a feeling that said “Be Brave Max”

Be brave with your thoughts. Brave with your words. And even braver with your actions.

To an outsider, the way I’m currently structuring my life may seem pretty brave: on the other side of the world (alone), chasing dreams, moving aside norms and not looking back.

But to me, those big moments almost seem easier than the moments I’m thinking of…the fearless ones. The moments that the brave women I look up to are made of. They may seem so small, but they feel so much bigger to me than even the biggest of my life’s courageous decisions.

What I know in my heart though, is that bravery is cultivated in the big moments. And in the tiny ones. Tweet: Bravery is cultivated in the big moments. And in the tiny ones. @maxiemccoy #bebrave

Regardless of where you’re at, summoning bravery will help you push forward despite any fear you may feel. And you will feel fear. Plenty of it. But being brave, I’m learning, is doing it anyways.

If you’re feeling the pull to live bigger and braver in your own bundle of tiny moments…Here’s what my “Be Brave” baby steps have looked like over the past few months:

Go higher…

I have not always been the most adventurous type. But I’ve doing and trying things I would have said no to before: surfing. bridge jumping. waterfall diving. Sand Dune sliding. It scares the crap out of me but I’m doing it anyways. Because once I do, I feel a little bit stronger than I did before.

Wear less…

In the past few months I’ve stripped down to my sports bra in a super sweaty workout class. I’ve bought an awesome dress that bares my mid drift. And walked away with a hot pink bikini bottom that covers a whole lot less than it shows. This one isn’t about promiscuity. It’s not about looking classless. It’s about loving my body and when inspiration hits to rock something awesome or to take off a layer…I’m going to do it. And do it without fear. And do it with so much love of this gorgeous body that takes me there.

Opinionate Hard…

Those who know me may laugh at this one. Because I’m opinionated enough already. But I want to be opinionated in the way that I don’t back down from what I feel so strongly about because of what someone else may think. Fight me on gender equality I dare you. Challenge me on spirituality lets see it.  And I will listen to your thoughts and try and put myself in your shoes. But I will not back down on what I know and believe – whether its’ a first date, a potential biz partner, or someone I just met. I’m not saying I’m right…but these beliefs make me me. The way I see the world makes me who I am. And hiding those opinions would be like cloaking my soul.

and tell more…

I have a story to tell. We all have a story to tell. And every time I go to create, I want to make a layer of that story more vulnerable. Whether it’s writing, speaking or taping, I’m learning what it means to open up my journey so that others can learn. And what it means to do it with strength and with enough rootedness that I don’t constantly monitor myself due to what a specific someone would think.

Your moments of bravery probably look very different than mine. Figure out what they are, write them down, and channel your inner warrior.

We all have the opportunity to harness bravery a bit more. When you feel scared, you’re on to something. Go there. Push past. And wrap yourself up in the beautiful blanket that is bravery.

This week I wrote about the lightbulb moment I had about this whole bravery thing for The College Prepster. Read it for a reminder of that fearless soul you have inside of you.